This is an awesome teaching by my Dad, y’all! I agree with every inch of this. Our motto as a Church? Prove all things! Stop going with the majority! Think outside of the traditions box! Dare to be different! Don’t be scared of man, y’all.
1. Turn my Body (Church) into a Business on every corner just like whores do.
2. Dress like business men with a Phallic Obelisk Arrow pointing down to your lower anatomy and pretend this is holy attire (especially in the Last Days).
3. Gather in big Obelisk Steeple Houses.
4. Don't name yourself after me (Christian) but rather pick a more suitable denomination.
5. Shave your beard and mustache off to be more like Me.
6. Make a stage in the Steeple House and call the stairs an "Altar" and nobody will question this.
7. Never say anything negative about somebody because this is "Gossip" and I never said anything negative about anybody...
8. Spend thousands upon thousands of dollars in para-church organizations to purchase the gifts of pastor, evangelist, etc.
9. In the last days, the churches will be so apostate that you do not have to seek out a local church or elder rule and none of those plethora of verses will apply to you and when you stand before Me, we'll have this little understanding you see and all will be well (wink / wink).
10. Put images/pictures of the Godhead all over your homes and the Steeple House and I will be honoured and blessed.
11. Refer to the Steeple House as a "Church" instead of the actual gathering of the people.
12. Call the room after the foyer a "Sanctuary" and nobody will look this up in the Bible and question you.
13. Always preach indoors and never outdoors and just be like Me.
14. Never tell anybody about Me unless you become friends with them first or sit down for a cup of coffee (remember, Java before Jehovah).
15. I will pour out My Holy Ghost in the upper room of a house and Luke will end Acts with Paul preaching in a house, but don't let this confuse you because house churches are not real churches.
16. I realize there was always ONE House of God at a time and I prophesied the Temple would be destroyed, but this is because I want there to be Kuhzillions of Houses of God all over the planet you see.
17. I do not have the power to keep even TWO people unified so please just Agree to Disagree until there are THOUSANDS OF COUNTLESS denominations when I come back.
18. Train up a child in the way he should go and he may slip and slide and blaspheme Me and my word but it's hard to say what will become of him and he might even come back.
19. Happy is the man whose quiver is full of hell-bound heathen arrows.
20. Never use the word 'Jezebel' because I never do.
21. Join hand and hand with and bless church-disciplined rebels and none of your works will be dead or wood, hay, and stubble on that Day of Reckoning - I promise.
22. Only preach in the Steeple Houses for 20-30 minutes because My sheep's attention span will be shortened due to media-exposure.
23. The Father seeketh such as will worship Him by conforming to the world and getting musical ideas from the heathen.
24. Bus in all the devils you possibly can and you might even win a soul or two and will no doubt win awards for the largest Sunday School in your denomination.
25. Suffer not the little children to come unto my assembly but send them down to the dungeon where a hip youth pastor can clown around with them and babysit.
26. The real Church Fathers will not be the apostles and writers of the New Testament but those who come centuries later (Hear ye them!).
27. Build huge edifices instead of edifying My people.
28. Put larger than life Faith Promise Thermometers at the Altar stairs to capitalize on cash in the coffers.
29. Put the people in gold rings and goodly apparel in the highest seats.
30. Tell people you are not really a Denomination and to ignore that name on the sign outside the Steeple House.
31. Put a basketball goal in the parking lot of the Outer Court.
32. If all people do is talk about Me, then call them a "cult" to make them ashamed.
33. I was actually born on Baal's Birthday because sometimes I imitate Satan to make him mad and get on his nerves.
34. Cater to the Youth Subculture of the Last Days because My Gospel alone cannot reach them.
35. Heaven and earth will pass away, and my exact words will as well but the General Gist of what I said can be found in scattered manu-scraps and if you can learn Greek, Aramaic, and Hebrew, this will be a plus coupled with your own personal favorite translation of your liking.
36. I will hold pastors accountable for you but you don't have to have any accountability to them.
37. The office of evangelist is really an itinerate preacher who travels a circuit in his favorite denomination with no real local church accountability and I had Philip the Evangelist stay at his house in Caesarea just to confuse you and also he had 4 daughters who served Me and stayed virgins but I don't expect evangelists to focus on their own families more than others.
38. Never believe elder-qualified folks who rule their houses well but rather trust in the statements against them made by folks whose families are divided and out of order.
39. Never make your boast in Me or let your light shine before men because this is proud and it's best to hide it all under a bushel.
40. Spend two hours watching a movie but never two hours praying to Me.
41. If a brother sins against you, don't rebuke him and just go ahead and forgive him whether he repents or not since I always forgive people who don't repent.
42. If you get kicked out of a church in Galatia, you can just mosey on over to a church in Thessalonica no questions asked and no problem.
43. Not everybody in my body is a minister but just a select few body parts.
44. Just take many of the warnings in the scriptures and make them apply only to unbelievers.
45. Have business meetings, church offices, secretaries, paid staff, building funds, and even dress like businessmen but pretend you are not running a professional business.
46. Provide an atmosphere where people can hide their double-life and nobody will expose them or expect serious discipleship from them.
47. Although I had men write the Bible and I gave church authority gifts to men, you really don't need men but just Me.
48. If you see somebody's light growing bright, try and blow their light out so yours can look brighter.
49. Call my serious sheep "legalistic" without ever looking up the definition of the word.
50. If my children start to be wicked and won't respond to my spankings, I'll just take them on home to eternal bliss with Me and that'll teach them a thing or two.
Very accurate!
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