"Purely In Love" (A Look At Biblical Courtship- Part 1)

So I had a young lady request that I do a blog post on the topic "Biblical Courtship." Well, it was so neat because I was actually studying and meditating on courtship, and was even considering doing a blog post concerning that very subject! The Lord confirmed it by that girl's request.



WHAT IS BIBLICAL COURTSHIP?
All right, so what is Biblical courtship exactly? I would like to just dive right in and tackle that question first, but... before I can accurately answer that question I must talk about a girl's life before a courtship. No, you're not going crazy and yes, you did read before. You're probably thinking, "Who needs to know about the before? I'm already in the before! Let's get on with the COURTSHIP part!"
Ha ha Well, I've got to lay the foundation first. Everything has a "beginning" to it, and in order for you to have the most AMAZING the most ROMANTIC and the BEST courtship in the entire world, the before and the now is what you should be concerned about.
I've decided to break this up into three parts. In the first part I'll talk about the "before", in the second I'll talk about the actual "courtship process", and in the third I'll talk about the "happily ever after."



There are some beautiful love stories in the Bible that I LOVE reading such as "Song of Solomon", the "Ezekiel 16" love story, "Esther", the story of  "Rebekah and Isaac", and also "Ruth and Boaz." But during this post we will be taking a look at one of my favorite stories (and she just so happens to be one of my most favorite women in the Bible): "Ruth."

You probably know the story well. So I'm just gonna dive right into my thoughts. ha ha


THE LOVE STORY OF RUTH
First off Ruth's husband dies and she is left with just her sister and mother in law Naomi. She could of given up. She could have been mad at God. But, surprisingly she does not. Her story is so amazing and I can't wait to dig into it with you!

What was the first step for Ruth to get one amazing love story?


FIRST STEP:
She left her flesh behind, denied herself, and than submitted to the authorities in her life (God first and than her mother in law Naomi).
"Moab" in the Bible can be a type of the "flesh" and so in an allegorical type of way they left their "flesh" behind.  Ruth 1: 6-7, "Then she arose with her daughters in law, that she might return from the country of Moab: for she had heard in the country of Moab how that the Lord had visited his people in giving them bread. Wherefore she went forth out of the place where she was, and her two daughters in law with her; and they went on the way to return unto the land of Judah."
They were going where there is "bread." As you probably know, in the Bible the word of God can be a similitude or a type of "bread" (Matthew 4:4, Job 23:12).
Are you seeking the bread of God? Are you living a crucified life? Have you left your flesh behind and are pressing on to better things? That's the first step!
So, than what happens? Let's keep reading:
Ruth 1: 8-9, 14-15,  "And Naomi said unto her two daughters in law, Go, return each to her mother's house: the Lord deal kindly with you, as ye have dealt with the dead, and with me.
The Lord grant you that ye may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband. Then she kissed them; and they lifted up their voice, and wept. And they lifted up their voice, and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth clave unto her. And she said, Behold, thy sister in law is gone back unto her people, and unto her gods: return thou after thy sister in law."



ARE YOU GOING BACK?
So their mother in law wanted them to go back to Moab. Orpah (sadly) went back to the easy life of her flesh, gods, young men, popularity, and familiar territory. But what about Ruth? It says that she CLAVE unto Naomi. Think about that word "clave" for a second. One of my favorite verses is: Deuteronomy 13:4 , "Ye shall walk after the Lord your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him." We are to CLEAVE unto our God! Do you have other "gods" in your life such as: tv shows, boy friends, books, magazines, movie stars, sport stars, music bands, sports, etc. above THE GOD? If so, you need to forsake all those "gods" and run fast and hard after Jesus Christ. CLEAVE unto Him with all your might! In the Song of songs it says about the Bride (after she had found her bride groom) that she "held him, and would not let him go." Sounds like she was CLEAVING unto her groom to me!
Naomi tries to push Ruth after her sister: "And she said, Behold, thy sister in law is gone back unto her people, and unto her gods: return thou after thy sister in law."

But what Ruth says next is SOOO poetic and amazingly humble I could just cry reading it! (This is SOOO beautiful I'm planning on using this  when I write my "commitment" to my future husband):
"And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me. When she saw that she was stedfastly minded to go with her, then she left speaking unto her." (Ruth 1:16-18.)
Wow. Is that not Amazing?! She was so committed to her God and to her Authority (Naomi) she was willing to go anywhere or do anything with Naomi! She was humble and she was not prideful. She realized that in and of herself she was unable to find a good spouse so she decided to trust God and her mother in law even if it meant giving up everything she was familiar with. Even if it meant fully relying on God and Naomi's wisdom and council in choosing her life mate. Even if it meant she would NEVER get married! I mean, honestly, she had a VERY slim chance of getting a "wonderful handsome Prince" when she was a "MOAB" (considered a "Gentile" to the Jews).
Do you think you could do that? What if you God had you go somewhere where there were absolutely NO possibilities (in your mind's eye) where you would ever get a husband?! Would you do it?
Are you humble? Have you submitted to the authorities in your life? Can you honestly say to God, "Where you go I'll go. Where you stay I'll stay. Whatever your will is for my life I trust you to carry it out. Not my will but Thine be done!" Are you still holding on to your dreams, your will, your plans, your life, and your desires? Are you trying to lean into your own understanding and trust in yourself?
If so, you need to take some time to completely surrender yourself to God, deny your flesh, deny your "heart leadings", and let God take COMPLETE control of your life! If you do that than God WILL lead you into the most AMAZINGLY romantic courtship ever! He can (and will) write you the most amazing love story of all time, but He cannot lead your life if you don't surrender it to Him. He cannot bring you the right spouse if you don't allow Him FULL control. It's all up to you my dear friend. You can choose your ways (NOT good) or you can choose God's ways (THE BEST).
Which will it be?



KEEP YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE:

Ruth was submitted to Naomi and trusted her leadings in the area of her future. One of the biggest steps in preparing for your future spouse is to keep yourself accountable to your parents. And in the event you don't have godly parents -I do (PRAISE GOD!)- than ask God to help you find someone godly you can trust.
I have given my parents my heart and I full trust in their help in finding my future spouse. I have also provided my parents with a "list" of what I desire in my future spouse. It includes basics like:  he has to be a GODLY Christian, a street preacher, a man I can respect, a man after God's heart, has a nice beard, has to be best friends with my Dad, etc. (It's a REALLY long list by the way) and also a few "preferences" like: I would like someone athletic, funny (if he doesn't like my Dad's puns and my jokes and pranks than we can't be an item. period.), and "Prophet like" (as in a crazy peculiar FOOL for Christ). But I know God knows who's perfect for me so I can trust Him. And since I have such a long list of what I desire in my future spouse I figured (I may be dumb but at least I'm not stupid!) my future hubby most likely has as long of a list (if not longer!). So I relate everything to myself, as well as asking God to help me be the help-meet that will perfectly compliment my husband. (That crazy street preacher is gonna really need a crazy woman backing him up... just kidding! maybe...)


Also, I am NOT an advocate for those stupid-little-silly and also very childish "crushes". You don't "fall in love" you just feel highly attracted. Just because he's godly, funny, and -ahem- cute, it doesn't mean he's "The one". Wait on God, trust your parent's very wise council, and watch and pray. I'm not kidding. Watch. I keep a journal entitled "My journal of manhood". In it I record where I see the ideal manhood being upheld and when I see it being trashed (sadly there are a lot of JERKS out there). So very discreetly (with NO- I MEAN NO- emotional attachments involved. Just a girl- in all purity -observing masculinity around her) watch the men in your life (and even the cheap ones -hopefully not in your life- who hang outside of Wal-Mart trying to catch their next bait). You will start to notice the REAL Princes and the FAKE ones. You will also start to -subconsciously- compare them to the Bible and to the true men in your life (I literally automatically run almost every guy I see  through a mental list).
Pray. Pray for every guy in your life to become a mighty warrior for the Lord. Pray that they will stay pure and wait faithfully for their future wives. And pray that they will become MIGHTY men of God and amazing Princes.


So trust your parent's wise advice and also the Lord's VERY WISE council.
Don't lean into your own understanding (very unwise and foolish).
A great quote: "God leaves the BEST with those who leave the choice up to HIM." ~Jim Elliot





BEING STEADFAST:
Naomi saw that Ruth was "steadfastly" minded.  Are you STEADFAST in your convictions? Are you willing to be mocked, ridiculed, and scorned for your RIGHT beliefs? Are you standing on the SOLID rock of Jesus Christ and you are NOT going to back down?
Be STEADFAST in your convictions. Be COMMITTED to God's ways and don't turn to the left or the right. Say that you ARE going to remain pure no matter the cost. Say that you WILL wait on God and His perfect timing even if it's hard. Stand against the flow of the world and see God's blessings all over your life!







SERVING OTHERS:
When Ruth finally gets to Bethlehem what does she do? Right off you can clearly notice that she has a humble servant's heart. She's willing to go out and labor out on the hot sun and gather small bits of wheat that the reapers have dropped just for her mother in law Naomi. She does not care if it's hot, she does not care if her back hurts after stooping and bending down all day, she does not seem to mind that her skin will most likely get burnt, she does not notice that her poor hands are chaffed by the cutting wheat, all she cares about is serving and helping Naomi.
Do you have a servant's heart? Are you putting others ahead of yourself?
The Bible says to "esteem OTHERS better than yourself." Are you esteeming others as better?

One thing that got me is this: Ruth is serving Naomi. "So?" You may ask. Read it again: Ruth is serving Naomi. Think about it. That's her family. If your a normal person you probably realize that out of the whole entire world the hardest people to love and serve sometimes is really, well, your family. I mean we seem to treat those closest to us the worst. I'm not joking! Let's say a random stranger hits you in the face with something (use your imagination: broom handle, car door, whatever) What's your reaction? "It's okay! I'm fine!" You blurt out as the concerned stranger offers their apologies. You somehow seem to ignore the fact that your face is blood red, stinging, and throbbing. Now let's say it was your sister accidently hitting you in the face. What would your reaction be? (Be honest!) Probably  more like, "OUCH!!! How could you be so thoughtless! You know better than to hit me!"(And I admit it, when your sister isn't apologizing but standing over there laughing her head off- it is a little harder to control your emotions.) But, seriously though. We need to start serving our own family just like we would anyone else (if not better!). We treat family like they're the scum of the earth just for being related to us. That's pretty shameful.
To be honest the Lord has really grown me in this area. (I used to be one of the most SELFISH people on the planet- just ask my family-and not to say I don't have my "moments" of selfishness at times.) But I now do truly enjoy serving others. I enjoy being what I call "waitress" and going around taking orders, refilling drinks, serving plates, etc. I like helping people. I enjoy making others feel happy, welcome, and loved. But the Lord started convicting my motives as well. Was I just doing it for eye service? Or was I doing it as unto the Lord? Did I seem to serve others (who were not misfortunate enough to be related to me) better than my own family? Or do I serve everyone with the same regard? God said to not be a repector of persons. If you can't treat your family nice now, do you think you'll treat your future spouse any better? "But that's different!" You may counter. "I'll be soo in LOVE with my future husband! I'll do anything for him." Actually it's not different. You are building your character as a future wife right now. If you're selfish now, you'll be selfish later. Saying "I do" doesn't change you into a "Perfect Princess." If two people come into marriage expecting the other to fulfill their selfish request and wants well, you'll end up with two very unhappy people (and that's how a lot of divorces ensue as well). It doesn't work that way I'm afraid! Start serving your family now in order to be off the charts amazing in serving your future Beloved!

Believe it or not guys notice things like this. They like hard working young ladies because they know what kind of wife she'll make. If you don't love to serve and if you find it hard to put others ahead of yourself ask God to help you in this area. Learn to esteem others better than yourself and you'll see your whole life get turned around! You'll see that even when you're doing the hard things it will be fun because you have JOY in doing them. Guys also notice when a girl is JOYFUL. They like to see girls who really genuinely enjoys washing dishes. serving others, and putting themselves last. A girl who's eyes sparkle with JOY and happiness is truly the fairest of them all!







WITNESSING AND STREET PREACHING:
Also another way to take this is, are you serving in The Fields? As in "The Fields" I mean that great harvest where it's very plenteous but the laborers are few. Are you out reaching the unsaved masses? Are you seeking and saving that which is lost? Do you have a burden to labour out in the fields and with love and compassion pull some desperate soul out of the fire (Jude 22-23)? To read more about this subject (a subject that's very near and dear to my heart) go Here.



PREPARE:
I'm sure Ruth also helped Naomi cook, clean, and take care of their house. She was BUSY preparing to be a help-meet. Are you preparing right now? You should be capable of cooking, cleaning, washing laundry, buying groceries, babysitting kids, etc. and so forth. You will need all of those skills when you get married. Most girls feel like they'll just "magically know" how to do all these things once their Prince Charming shows up at their door with the engagement ring and red roses. Sorry! It doesn't' work that way I'm afraid.
What a "great impression" that will be your first month of marriage....
"Honey, can you make me something to eat? I'm starving!"
"Uhhh..." You try to stall as you search Google with "how to make dinner for a hungry husband."
"What are you doing?"
"Umm... I'm... I'm... Uh making dinner..." You say trying to sound confident while pulling out boxes of mac-n- cheese from the cabinet. "How do you boil water?!" Now is the time to call your faithful Mom.
"Honey? I'm hungry!" your husband calls as you pick up your cell phone and nervously dial your Mom's number.
After a brief explanation from your mom on the fine culinary art of boiling water you hurriedly make the mac, add some canned peas, and viola! Dinner is served? I'm sure your hungry husband would be thrilled. ha ha
Put down your cell phones, stop texting, get off of Facebook, and ask your Mom what you can do to help her. Your future husband will be VERY pleased to know that you can cook (and clean) just like his Mom. (Assuming his Mom can cook and clean... Hey! Maybe you'll be even better than his mom! Wouldn't that be awesome? ha ha.) To read a post about "Preparing to be a help meet" Click on this link.







GODLY INFLUENCES:
If you'll notice Ruth surrounded herself with "like minded" girls. She kept fast with the maidens who were also laboring in the fields:
Ruth 2:22-23. "And Naomi said unto Ruth her daughter in law, It is good, my daughter, that thou go out with his maidens, that they meet thee not in any other field.  So she kept fast by the maidens of Boaz to glean unto the end of barley harvest and of wheat harvest; and dwelt with her mother in law."
I think it's a great idea for you to surround yourself with like minded young ladies who all want to focus on God (not guys), serve in the fields (witnessing and street preaching and not just shopping and chatting), and who have the same mindset of staying pure and waiting for their future Beloveds.





WAIT ON GOD AND HAVE PATIENCE:
I think, out of all the many things young ladies struggle with, "Patience" is a biggie (a friend of a friend told me one time).
Ask God to help you in this area. I did and quite honeslty He really has helped me! There's a little secret... but I'll get to that in a minute...


You need to wait on God and His perfect timing.
Psalm 27:14

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

1 Corinthians 2:9

"But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."

Isaiah 64:4

"For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him."

Patience can be very hard (I speak from experience)... But if you really want a guy worth getting you need to wait for God to bring Him.  Here's a quote I saw and really liked:

The ALMIGHTY God is capable of bringing you a spouse worth waiting for. You just need to surrender everything to Him, trust His faithfulness, keep busy serving God, and be prepared to wait.
Also, don't get discouraged if you don't see any Christ like guys around you. You may give up hope sometimes, but they are out there and God is raising them up. I can just see my future husband right now surrounded by jezebels and little whores trying to flirt (because of course he's going to be SOO handsome! ha ha) and he has to go run and pray seeing no hope of ever finding "The one" out there. I bet some nights he just gets on his knees and cries out to God asking, "WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE THE PURE PRINCESSES?!" My poor future husband....
Ask God to help you have more FAITH and patience.


By the way: you think waiting right now (while you're still single) is hard? Wait till you MEET your future spouse! (I see my poor brother go through this everyday. I feel so bad for him I wish he could get married right now! And every time I hear his pitiful moans wishing he could marry his fiancé RIGHT NOW I thank God that I haven't met my future husband yet because waiting would be WAY harder.)


And now lastly, THE SECRET:

The biggest and one of the MOST important things you need to be focusing on right now as a single is: Your relationship with Jesus Christ. Becoming intimately acquainted with Jesus, falling ALL the more in love with Him, and pursuing His heart should be your BIGGEST and most important concerns right now. If Jesus doesn't become your FIRST love right now than you'll really be disappointed when you get married. Your future Beloved can NOT fulfill all your inner most romantic longings. Jesus Christ made you with that passionate longing to have someone love you. But the reason He did that is not so you could find that fulfillment in some earthly man but in HIMSELF! Jesus Christ needs to be the man in whom you look for all your romantic longings to be fulfilled. Yes an earthly man can and will love you, but He's only going to be loving you with the very love of Jesus. So in all reality it all comes back to Jesus and HIS love. He is the author of true romance and He does desire for you to have an earthly love story (that He will orchestrate), but if you don't first find fulfillment in His loving arms than He really wouldn't want to bring you a man because than you really won't run to Him with all your heart! Fall in love with Jesus, pursue His heart, seek Him with everything in you, and than and only than will you truly find fulfillment for all your longings!
If you read 1 Corinthians 7:34 it says,

"There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband."

 

Right now keep your focus on serving God, loving God, serving others because once you're married you'll really won't have as much time to do all that.
People may ask me, "Are you called to singleness?" My answer will be, "Today I am." I may not be called to singleness tomorrow (Enter: Prince Charming) but TODAY I am.


 Seriously. Don't just sit around twiddling your thumbs hoping that your Beloved will just show up at the door.

Jesus Christ needs to be your COMPLETE and total pursuit.

To read a post about really loving God go Here.

Well, there's really SOOO much more I could say on this subject but I need to work on Part two! ha ha So I better wrap this up.
Here's some books that I recommend:
A King James Bible (That's the BEST thing to read! You will learn all about what you are to be doing right now as a single.)
"Before You Meet Prince Charming" by, Sarah Mally
"Set-Apart Femininity" by, Leslie Ludy
"Authentic Beauty" by, Leslie Ludy
"Preparing To Be A Help Meet" by, Debi Pearl
"God's Gift To Women" by, Eric Ludy

Websites:
http://setapartgirl.com/
http://nogreaterjoy.org/blogs/preparingtobeahelpmeet/



I'll end with the poem I recently wrote to my future husband:

“To My Future Husband”

 Dear Beloved future Prince,

This is your future wife.
I’m so excited to meet you
When God brings you into my life

 Just to think you’re out there somewhere!

I wonder what you’re doing today
Do you ever think about me?
I think about you every single day.

 

As I look at the starry night sky
And gaze at the bright full moon
I think about your beautiful eyes
Looking at the same things I do

 

I often think of your unselfish love
And of that precious heart waiting just for me
It reminds me to keep my standards high
To carefully guard my priceless gift of purity.

 

Even though I don’t know who you are
I love and cherish you so
I am committed to faithfulness
To the world’s ways I’ll never go!

 

I admit, sometimes it’s discouraging
When I can hardly find true masculinity
But I still have that spark of hope
And I’ll keep guarding my pure femininity

 

I wonder if you ever get downcast
When all you see is whores and Jezebels
“Where are all the pure princesses?!” You may cry
“Are they just in the fairy tales?”

 

I wish that I could encourage you
And tell you that I’m waiting faithfully
And I guess in a way I already do
By praying for you continually

 

Although I cannot see you
I know that our God can
I have full faith and trust
That He’s growing up my godly man

 

I pray that you’ll be like Adam
And fall into a deep sleep
That your focus will be on pursuing God
And let Him awaken you with me

 

Since you are a man of God
I know that my purity you will love
That encourages me to wait
And to keep pursuing God above

 

Sometimes I feel just hopeless,
Impatient, lonely, or depressed
But that’s when I run to Jesus Christ
And I always walk away feeling blessed

 

I wonder if you get lonesome some nights
Do you ever just cry out to our King?
I wish that I could wipe away your tears
And remind you of the sweeter song we sing

 

It’s neat to think that you’re praying for me

I wonder if you write future love letters too
I fervently pray that no girl will steal your heart
And I’m saving mine as a treasure just for you

 

I live as if I’m already taken
I’m taken by you my Beloved
I’m not as “eligible” as it seems
I’m truly just a one-man-woman

 

Just to know that God can see you now
And that He has a romantic plan
And to think- He’ll bring us together
In the most perfect way that only God can

 

I’m so excited for the day
When I can hear your authoritative voice
Preaching the glorious gospel
And with compassion reaching the lost

 

It’s gonna be so neat serving The Lord
By the side of my best friend
We’ll both be so in love with God
And be willing to give out lives up for Him

 

The biggest enemy of the best is the good
So I’m waiting for the very best
I know that you’ll be striving for perfection
And when you find me I’ll be so blessed!

 

Sometimes I imagine what you look like
Your name or personality
But no matter how you act or look
I know that you’ll be perfect to me

 

It’s gonna be so neat to behold
Your sparkling eyes of love
Reflecting the glorious light of Jesus
Our first love and Prince above

 

You’ll be my perfect Warrior-Poet
Exuding the stunning beauty of our King
I’m already so madly in love with you
Can you imagine how it’ll be when we meet?!

 

I know that my true beauty you’ll see
Because you’ll know that a woman who fears God
Is a jewel with a price above rubies
It’s a beauty that’s not a fake fraud                  

 

And now I must say good-bye
But oh I look forward to the day
When we’ll never be apart
And together we will always stay

 

My commitment to you is steadfast
To your heart I will remain true
Always, from now, till forever
My Beloved Prince, I LOVE YOU!






Good-bye! Please Take a look at Part two... It'll be finished soon.... Hopefully. ha ha
Be blessed!
~Princess Purity Hope<3

P.S Part two is here. :)