"Purely In Love" (A Look At Biblical Courtship- Part 2)

Guess what?! I have a little bit of inspiration right now. (And... a little bit a lot of guilt for taking so long in finishing this post. Sorry y'all... I get behind.)

To read part one go here.
SO-
"Biblical Courtship"
What is it?

First a basic breakdown:
It's where you pray and wait on God to bring the right one.

Then when He does, you get council and you PRAY. Then it's a hands off, pure, and scriptural process that's heading towards marriage with both of the people being held accountable. Its NOT worldly dating.

Why run from dating?
Though some Christians will try to reclaim the word "dating" and just redefine it, that doesn't work out. Why take something that the Devil has created and try to squeeze God into it? That's like taking rock music and putting "Christian" in front of it. Or taking junk food, repackaging it, and slapping "Healthy" on the front. It doesn't pan out. When people think of "dating" they think of a guy and girl going out for the fun of it (with no accountability, authority, or maturity). I think everyone needs to go do a study on dating and see where it came from (The roots are awful!). As a Christian trying to be different from the world in all areas why would you- in the area of relationships- all of a sudden be just like them? That's not right.
You may have a different definition when you say "We're dating." But everyone else isn't thinking that.
Dating is selfishness at it's core. Two people come into a relationship looking to the other to fulfill their selfish desires and wants. All they care about is gimme, gimme, gimme more! And once the person stops or no longer can fulfill their desires then they just drop them and move on to the next victim. It's not true love. It's lust.
 Dating is also dry rehearsal for divorce. You break up, hook up, break up, hook up, break up, hook up, and then when you finally do get married, well, you get divorced. I mean, that's what you've been practicing since kindergarten, so why not?

Dating is traumatizing and destroys your emotions. God didn't design you to have to go through all the heartache, pain, brokenness, depression, wrecked emotions, and rejection that comes with the dating game. He meant you to be for one man or one woman. No one should have to experience the "break up". It's not natural.
Giving away pieces of your heart far too early, and to people who should never have it in the first place, is not what God wants for you. He wants you to save that precious heart for the perfect person that He will bring to you.

There's a LOT more I could say on this subject but... I need to move on to the topic at hand!
So, run from dating. The Bible says to FLEE fornication. As Christians we need to have something better in our relationships. Yes, the world can't understand it. But that's okay! God desires the BEST for us.
Looking around, you may feel like you are all alone in choosing courtship over dating.

But there are a few in every generation who are choosing it. Have hope!

Now, let's look at how to get a person worth getting...
Here's a good quote:
"Don't try to find Mr. Right. Learn to be Miss Right, and the one who finds you will be Mr. Right."
-"Preparing to Be a Help Meet" by, Debi Pearl


Let's get back to the "Story of Ruth."
When does Boaz notice Ruth? When she is out on the fields working! When she was laboring out in the hot sun from morning till night. When she was selflessly serving her mother in law.
Ruth 2:4-5, "And, behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem, and said unto the reapers, The Lord be with you. And they answered him, The Lord bless thee.Then said Boaz unto his servant that was set over the reapers, Whose damsel is this?"
And I'm gonna take this even a step further. Are you out laboring in THE harvest? I'm talking about that harvest where it's truly plenteous but the laborers are few! Are you out in the fields trying to seek and save that which is lost? Do you really want a man of God? I'm talking about a God fearing, lost souls seeking, God's heart pursuing, Warrior-Poet kind of man? Well than you need to be that kind of woman!

Right now (as a single) some of your main focuses in life should be:
1) Falling all the more in love with Jesus.
2) Waiting on God.
3) Serving others.
4) PRAYING.
5) Reading the Bible
6) Living holy
7) Following God's will for your life.
8) And... Keeping thyself PURE.

The Bible says in Proverbs 31:12 that, "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."
You are to be doing your husband GOOD ALL the days of your life (even before you meet him!).

Now, As Ruth was busy serving, the Lord was busy orchestrating, providing, and match making.
A quote I like is this:
"As you run fast and hard after Jesus, look to the left and to the right and marry the man who is running beside you. " -"Preparing to be a Help Meet" by, Debi Pearl

Be BUSY serving the Lord and let Him do all the work in finding your spouse. NOT that you don't have your eyes open, but there's no need to worry yourself with finding "Mr. Right" when God has it in His VERY capable hands.
Another interesting thing to note about Boaz and Ruth is this:
Ruth 2:11-12, "And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore.The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust."

Boaz noticed her humble and willing heart and he also saw that she TRUSTED in God. What will your future husband be saying/thinking about you when he meets you? Selah.

Some more interesting facts from the rest of the Ruth story:
- Naomi associated marriage with REST (Ruth 3:1).
- Ruth obeyed her mother in law even if it was hard (Ruth 3:5).
- Ruth didn't go after the young men but went after the one appointed by God (Ruth 3:10).
- Boaz recognized Ruth as a virtuous woman (Ruth 3:11).
- Ruth had shamefacedness with her veil upon her (Ruth 3:15).
- Because of Ruth's obedience she ended up having a direct line to king David and then eventually Jesus Christ (Ruth 4:21-22).

Okay, so how does the courtship process work?
Let's write a story to kind of give you an idea....

One upon a time there was a beautiful young lady named Joy. She was a rock solid Christian who loved God with all her heart. Her sole purpose in life was to bring Him glory, and she lived for Jesus alone. She was known for her selflessness, her love for lost souls, and her willingness to serve others.
Her parents were godly Christians who led Joy in the right way and upheld her with prayer, the word of God, and Joy loved them and trusted them. She had given them her heart and had also been very open with them in want she wanted in her future spouse. They prayed for her future husband everyday as well as Joy. 

In another place lived a handsome young man named Seth. He was a godly, Christ loving, rock solid, sin hating, holy, and set-apart Christian. He was known for his fiery street preaching, willingness to lay his life down for God, and his so evident love for Jesus. His eyes just glowed with the light of The Lord. He was also praying for his future wife and his parents were keeping him accountable as he waited patiently (and maybe not so patiently at times).
Then on one glorious day as Joy was out reaching the lost with compassion as she was accustomed to do she noticed a godly young man doing the same thing. Seth also took note of the sparkling and Christ-like Joy and thus began the "watching process". Seth noted all of Joy's qualities, how she handled herself in certain situations, if she was a flirt with guys, how she prayed, and even how she dressed. Joy watched Seth discreetly and observed him in different situations as well. The two of them found that they liked what they saw. They realized that a match could be possible and there was a spiritual and physical attraction as well.
Also, they both realized that they were in perfect doctrinal agreement, and knew that they had unity in that area.
So they began to pray. They both definitely wanted God's will in their lives and something as important as marriage shouldn't be taken lightly. They both brought the matter to their parents and they all put it to MUCH prayer. After getting God's will and blessing from his parents Seth approached Joy's parents in order to get permission to court Joy with Marriage being the end goal.
 
Permission and blessing granted, Seth and Joy than enjoyed a beautiful courtship. It was hands-off, pure, holy, and a testimony to the world. Then they were married. It was a glorious picture of Christ and His Church. And yes, they lived happily ever after. :)

 

 

As we all know everyone's courtship is different. It's not always "story book perfect". Some may have ungodly parents and so that could put more strain on things. Everyone's love story is unique.

But the basic gist is this:
You wait on God. Then, when you feel like God may have brought the right one, you PRAY and get WISE council. When you do get in a courtship you have every intent to marry that person (it's not a meaningless emotional "fling"), it's hands-off (see 1 Corinthians 7:1-2), and it's PURE and Biblical.
The story of Isaac and Rebekah in the Bible is a beautiful courtship story (see Genesis 24).

You're trusting the ALMIGHTY God to bring you your spouse (even if all hope is lost sometimes! ha).

Keep waiting and praying!

And also, marriage isn't everything. If you center your whole life on getting married, well then your focus in life is like way off! God may not bring you a spouse if that's all your concerned about. He would be jealous of your love and affections.
The biggest marriage you should be worried about is the one between you and Jesus!

Right now you are called to singleness. You might not be tomorrow when your handsome Prince comes knocking on your door (probably unlikely. ha ha), But ...right now is what you're concerned with.

I really recommend that you look into this more. There is A LOT more to discuss on this topic. I definitely don't feel fully qualified to thoroughly and completely write about it (given my experience in the courting and marriage department! ha ha Though I have seen it first hand...).

Some GREAT books I recommend are:

• The King James Bible
• "When God Writes Your Love Story" by, Eric and Leslie Ludy
• "Leave dating Behind" by, Christina Rogers
• "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by, Joshua Harris (I haven't actually read this one but my brother has....) 
• "Preparing To Be a Helpmeet" by, Debi Pearl
• "In Search of a Helpmeet" by, Michael Pearl (Haven't read this one either...)
• "Passion And Purity" By, Elisabeth Elliot

I also recommend the movie "Pamela's Prayer." I don't typically recommend movies (or watch much movies for that matter) but this was pretty good.

Well, I hope this helps! I know it's short and not very thorough... so all I can say is: Sorry! ha ha
Well, keep thyself pure. Wait on God. And may you have a wonderfully romantic and godly love story someday! Love y'all! <3
~Princess Purity Hope<3



P.S. I wrote and illustrated a Christian love story called "The Price Of a Princess" that I'm hoping to get out here soon. The couple (in my story) implement "Biblical Courtship" in it, and it's WAAAAAY better than the thrown-together-in-three-minutes-without-much-thought "Joy and Seth" story above. ha ha

P.P.S. Here's my story: "The Price of a Princess"